Coming out of the Cauldron: My witchy backstory

So today I publicly posted on Social media- that my family can see, that I am a practitioner of Witchcraft. And I am terrified for the responses. So, I thought I would tell you a bit about my journey.

Throughout my childhood I have always felt a connection to all things magic, legends and nature related. My room is full of both fiction and non-fiction books on the subject that I have collected for many years.  I was especially obsessed with the Fae from a young age although to my knowledge I have never seen one. Though I swear by that one has been making me lose things for years. Ironically today I left an offering for one.

My first Crystal

My obsession with this world ironically started from a film and TV shows. Tinkerbell was my favourite character (Did you know she was once classed as a Disney princess but stripped of her title?)  Then at the age range of roughly five or six Me and my sister started watching Buffy the vampire slayer and a show called Charmed- Which to this day brings me great joy and instantly I felt connected. I also used to watch Asterix the Gaul which contained druidism in the form of the character Panoramix and Getafix ( yes I know these names are a bit daft and hinted he may of had more than herbs in his magic potion) But my point is i felt something deep within me that just told me that's what i believed in. Every year for Hallows eve i would dress as a Witch or a Black cat- with little differentiation- I loved it.

Me and my sister soon started to collect crystals. My first Was a piece of Rose quartz, which i still own today. Me and my sister at the time used to bathe with them, clean them with smelly
oils (strawberry and apple essential oils) and believed they would protect us as we slept.
Then we moved to where i live now and for a while my only exposure to anything along this line was a show called Merlin- which i lapped up every Monday and to this day "oh my soul" I love it and the fact that Merlin could quite still be around as an old man. Do you think he has a Facebook? I'm half joking here don't worry.  It felt a bit odd during this time because at school i was judged for playing with my amethysts and rose quartz in school instead of toys and when I suggested playing fairies and Witches with a group of friends, they would often convince me i shouldn't.

But i didn't know. I'd always grown up being told that whatever i believed would be ok. We were always told We could be whatever we wanted as we grew up by my parents and they have always been supportive- though there have been a few debates with my dad. Both my parents were raised in Christian households and Although my father is Agnostic ( he'll believe it when he sees is)  he likes to point out that any sort of spiritual belief system is manipulation of the dumb by the smart ( a bit harsh dad x) and my mother a believer in 'something out there' that may or may not be 'God'.
My sister is also an atheist now.... but still has some Witchy books and Angels cards out of interest. I may one day convince her to let me borrow her crystals ... maybe.

During my secondary (high) school years i went through my dark period. I was bullied to the point i didn't really want to be here at all. I hated my life and a lot of people and it wasn't until i had a bad scare later on that i began fighting back against the nasty girls and boys who enjoyed putting me and my sister down. It got so bad at one-point i was physically attacked twice. I began studying up ways to prevent bullies from hurting me and my friends, both magical and non-magical- My intent was clear but my confidence and clear mind was not. I began getting interested in darker areas of magic - which is why i always discourage others, especially novices. I got into Spirit Boards at the age of 13, and was looking up cliche Voodoo torture methods like what you see in pop culture (oblivious to the to nature of that spirituality) and was even foolish enough to try and contact a spirit once who i believed was  a friend's Grandfather ... leading me to be very frightenin  experience ..very quickly and to this day i feel like something had entered my house that day. Towards the end of my years at my school i returned to the lighter side of the craft- by then I was quite broken and was holding out on the tiniest bit of hope things would get better. It did slowly as I began to practice Candle and colour magic, enchanting jewellery for protection and putting into my craft what i wanted in life to be better. And then exams hit and the world of adulthood started to follow.

During my exams i memorised two spells, a Luck and knowledge spell, which i later adapted and used for friends with and without their knowledge . I'd developed a death phobia and even more anxiety during GCSE's so I did these spells  for protection of my friend to keep them safe from harm and from feeling the way I did... 

Me at a steampunk festival aged 16
With my makeshift quartz pendant and Batman

In college I went a bit crystal crazy chakra lady and also joined an online witch school. My college life was quite lonely but the bullying had stopped- so i gradually became more and more confident and started to heal.  I attempted meditation and healing through Chakras and spent most of my Fridays at my local history gift shop buying my crystals. I even went as far as buying half a geode of quartz worth £40 which i now use to help charge and purify my rune stones.

I'm now in University studying my masters. Learning more about the Wiccan and Pagan culture and rituals as opposed to spells. I am openly an Eclectic Pagan witch and I'm always learning  every day. How did I come out of the cauldron? Well I just simply stated it at home whilst watching a quiz show when a question on religion came up.. some may not be in such a position to do so as boldly as I did. To you I say start small.  Start saying you're beliefs are in tune with nature and to difficult people avoid using witchy terminology right way. Desensitization seems to be the most effective. I have friends for years just thought I liked pretty rocks , herbology and cats... who when they found out I was a witch had the pieces click but didn't react surprised. I've had some not so great reveals and I'm yet to tell my father's parents who think dyed hair is a sin... luckily that might not be a needed topic. But that's a subject for another day.

This is my short origin story as a witch so far. I may not be traditional but this is part of me. We all have our own story and our own beliefs. I hope you can find yours and be open to others.

Thank you Blessed be x